i just increased my hectic-ness and my tiredness to another level. In addition to working and taking care of baby, i have increased to becoming a committee member
yes i have sworn off this job once, but i miss the rush and the fun and the flow of becoming a management/committee. Or what people label as ke po chi.... my dad just screwed me for this. He said :" i wud expect an average of 3.9 from u. To me a 3.0 is fail....."
i feel to tired, my chest is pounding, my brain is getting more and more tired each day, i cant sleep at night and i cant wake up in the morning. What i am studying i cud not remember, what i did i cud not remember, i remember the list of stuff i need to do, i wish that 1 day has 48 hours, i am beginning to even lose focus when i am driving, I am tired to taking care of an 19 year old idiot (god damn it mature up la!), i almost left my baby at the park last week, i forgot people's name (normal), i forget what the movie i have watched and not, i forget to even eat -_-lll. My health is deteorrating, forgot to eat medic -_- (this is bad) , girl's monthly thing also screwed up edi (1st in 6 years).
and honestly, when all the above happened, i didn't know i was under stress, until one fren of mine pointed out that i am too tired.
i feel so emo, there is so much problem around me, i wonder is it that i fail to notice or i just ignored it. Family expect too much from me, i deprive in care and love, sien, i turn myself oblivious to the problem i had deep down inside. And I wonder is it that i close myself and refuse to let anyone know or i dun have anyone to talk to. Maybe now the problems i kept locket start to catch up with me. I guess the cycle repeats again, my emo will blow up, sit and drown myself, then stand up and face the world again...
I wish i just die. I looked at others and i wonder why are they so lucky.
i miss sui may...